To my only sister who turns 15 today

Time does fly. It feels like it was only yesterday when you were born as I still can fully remember everything that happened then. Now, 15 years later, look at you .. You’re a grown up girl who is capable of doing some things I, myself, never even dared of trying when I was about your age. You play volleyball. You join dance competitions. You have joined a small pageant this year and already planning to join again next year. Wow! I’m pretty much shy about my own few achievements. Lol.

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June 2019

You excel a little more than I did although you have to catch up on your academics. It was my main focus back then so my high school life was a bit boring, not like yours now since you’re able to join some activities. But you know what? If I hadn’t had given time to studying, I couldn’t have had gotten myself into such a reputable university I went to in college.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually am very much proud of the person you’ve become. From that little girl who would immediately start crying as soon as mom left you at our neighbor’s place, because no one could look after you since (dad has passed away that year you were turning 3 and) your older siblings were at school , to that still a cry baby adolescent when your kuya Manly would tease you about petty things, and now to that brave teenage girl that you are, who would probably grab each opportunity when you can. You’ve grown up so well. I guess I’m just concerned about your academic performance. I am not saying extracurriculars are bad. I believe they contribute to your growth. I just hope that you are managing your time well among the things you need and want to do.

Note that it does not matter which place you get. It doesn’t matter whether you’re rank 20 or even the top 1. Your placing doesn’t define anything but only your standing in your class. It is a myth that whoever does best at school will likely be the most successful later. The real and the most important school life is later at college, but without you putting much effort to learn as much as you can now, then you’re likely going to have some regrets once you’re there. Because personally, even if had studied well during my high school days, or at least I thought so, I still needed to catch up on a lot of things when I started college. I had to review basics or fundamentals when I was supposed to have known them already; like the different regions and capitals of our country, our history, PEMDAS, English grammar and vocabulary, etc.

Sis, I’m not trying to overwhelm you with all this college and reality stuff when you’re only even a Grade 9 Junior High student now, much less pressure you. Of course I’d like you to make the most of your high school life, to combine fun and learning. But I don’t want the time to come when you will wish someone actually told you this, because I did. You know that moment when you realize you can’t turn back time so you have no choice but to cram and catch up on things at once? It is not a great moment to be in and I found myself lots of times in it during my college days. Sometimes I would wish I could go back to high school and restudy so I wouldn’t get overwhelmed by the mass amount of information I got to internalize and end up messing up. So I hope you understand where I’m coming from.

Now as for love life, you might have thought I’m gonna excuse you today cause it’s your birthday. Lol. Well, I’d only heard you already got a boyfriend and confronted you but you were mum. Err.. Young love. Puppy love. Infatuation. You name it. You know it is not as important as your studies, our family, your growth and dreams, right? You are well aware of your limitations. You know, it’s only one topic that I’ve been trying to talk to you without having to sound authoritative, because there are people who really don’t wanna be told many times, over again, about the same thing. I’m like this and I’m afraid you are, too. If I could just make you understand everything without saying any word, then I’d be really glad to do so. It’s bad enough that I wasn’t there to witness you grow up and yet here I watch your actions like I’m your mom. I really just don’t want you to go through all that I did. And it’s the only way I know I could protect you.

Here, I’m gonna be blunt and I expect you to understand since you’re engaging yourself in this thing already, anyway. Just take note of the following:

1. Don’t break up with your boyfriend only because you have lost your feelings for him. You had made a choice to be in a relationship so you’ve got to stick with him as much as you can. It is a commitment. You wouldn’t want to have 10 ex-boyfriends by the time you reach 20. If you can make a relationship work for years, make it happen.

2. If your boyfriend doesn’t seem like he has dreams, talk to him about the importance of having some and aiming for success. Motivate and give him time. Don’t decide to break up until you’ve done enough to change him. Don’t lose yourself on the process. Know when to stop.

3. Don’t you ever surrender yourself even if you’ve been together for years. Wait until marriage because true love waits. Remember that that thing you have got there is the best gift you could ever give to your future husband. And staying virgin is the best and safest way to go. With that thing, you can get to test a guy’s love for you. Use that to your advantage. Most guys nowadays wouldn’t wait for marriage but only very few of them actually stay after they’ve gotten it. That’s why single moms exist. You don’t want to be one of them, right? You also don’t want to get pregnant before you have reached 20 years old, finished college and got a stable job, right? Don’t believe a guy when he says sex strengthens relationship and it is the only way you can prove you love him. Make him wait, work for it. It’s what’s best for the both of you.

4. If ever you’ll have to chooce between your studies/ career and love, choose the first one. Love alone cannot give you food, cannot pay your bills. Be with a guy who would not make you compromise your future. Be with a guy who cares supports your dreams and happiness and wants you to be successful.

5. Spoil yourself while you are single (or not married yet). Travel to other islands and countries, learn new languages and cultures and make a lot of friends. Don’t rush in having a family. There are a lot of married couples who are not happy because they’ve not been able to finish their studies, so they didn’t get a job that pays great and not able to raise their kids well.

6. Do no repeat the same mistakes I had. Do not ever agree to a “live in” set up. Think many times before you agree to a relationship. Do not settle for less than you deserve. Know your worth. We, women, all deserve a guy who is responsible, can make and stand by his decisions, would be patient with us and would always choose us.

 

I can add more to the list and even talk about my experiences that you have probably not heard of yet, just so I can convince you more to make wiser decisions in this matter. But I believe you are smarter than that, and you’re gonna make yourself and everyone who loves you proud of you as you age.

I do not expect you to have little to no mistakes, and to have been established already when you reach my age now. Just do not do anything that you will later hate yourself for doing, and anything that can ruin our family just like I did before. Make it a habit to get up whenever you fall. Don’t be so easy to get discouraged. Some people would want to decide for you, tell you what to do because “they’ve been there” and that might annoy you at times. Just listen to them and only take the advice you need. Choose to follow your heart because after all it is you who would do all the work, not them. It is your happiness, not theirs. It’s your life to live, not theirs. And most importantly, don’t you ever quit before you try and until and even after you hit your goal. As they would say, “Patience is virtue.” Be patient with everything.

Forgive me if I am not the role model or the older sister I’m supposed to be. If I can’t help mom support your needs and if you can’t proudly tell everyone that your “ate” is a professional (teacher, or anything). Please understand that I made bad decisions and have got to settle for the consequences, and thus my advices and this letter to you. I don’t want you to waste your years paying for your bad decisions and extend your journey. Look at me, it’s been 6 years now since I quit school, and still unable to get myself back to college. So please do make better decisions and make your years more productive.

Also please read my blog posts every now and then because if there are people whom I badly want to inspire and motivate with my words, with this blog, they’re you and our brothers. Your happiness and success matter to me more than anything else. I even told God that if ever there was one sibling among us who was not meant to succeed, I would want it to be me. Because I am pretty sure I can handle myself. Of course you guys can, too, but I was the one who made the worst sin, so I sort of deserve a punishment more than you will ever do.

Now going back to your birthday, I just wish you nothing but well wishes. I wish you many many more candles to blow, more fruitful years, more courage and strength to surpass whatever challenges come your way. May your health be always good, your dreams happen before your eyes, and may you stay sweet and humble even after you’ve achieved success. Pardon me if this is the only thing I can gift you with on your special day this year. I would surely have made a cake if I was there with you but I’m pretty sure this is much better. Did you know I had to cancel my scheduled post today just so I can post this? And I had to sleep late just so I can finish it? Lol.. Kidding aside, I hope you’ll take my advices. I hope you appreciate everything that I do for you. Thank you for coming to our lives. You are the best thing dad left us with. I could not imagine our family without you in it. Thank you also for looking after mom. I and your other siblings couldn’t have possibly gone and chased our own dreams without you staying by her side. We owe you a lot for this.

Please know that you’ll forever be our baby sister and that we all love you so much. We look forward to see you grow up more and turn into a fine young lady. Keep improving at what you love doing, and again never set aside your academics. Keep making yourself the proudest.  We are happy when you are happy. You are a happy pill to some. I’m just gonna end it here before you get more bored reading. Lol.

Happiest birthday!!! Enjoy your day. See you soon!! 😙🎂🎂🎂

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June 2017
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November 2017
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October 2018
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2 thoughts on “To my only sister who turns 15 today

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