I do not know anymore.

So people think I am this too ambitious and I wish to become successful and rich fast. I am this person who thinks high of herself so she must be choosy with her job options.

Misconceptions.

 

Oh how I wish I was actually too ambitious. So I would be like most “too ambitious” people, who have the guts to do whatever, as in everything, it takes just to achieve their ultimate goals. Brave and strong.

Because the truth is, I do not know anymore. I do not know anymore what to do. I do not know anymore where I actually belong, where I fit. What my real calling is, which industry I’m meant to be. I do not know anymore where I excel, what I’ll be doing for the rest of my lifetime. I do not know anymore because I’ve tried a couple of times, and even repeated the process each time, but I just couldn’t make it.

Till I got exhausted.

 

I do not know anymore so I thought I’d just follow my heart. I’d just take a break from my cozy independent kind lf life and go home, take a break and try whatever I can out of what I have, because maybe when I do, just maybe, I will create the opportunity that best suits me. Maybe I will find the happiness that I’ve long been searching for when I leave.

I do not know anymore so I thought I’d take an unfamiliar path, a path not taken by many of those I know. Because maybe if I switch path, I will find something more valuable. Or maybe I’m meant to be alone and work on my own, like the introvert that is me. Because maybe if I leave the crowd, I will be able to truly define myself and take everything from there. Or maybe not. But at least I would’ve done something to try to fix whatever seems to need fixing.

I just do not know anymore so I thought I’d just try this.

 

I’d just try this because I also want to do it. I want to discover possibilities and opportunities that thing itself can bring. I’d just try this because I never really wanted to work in an office setting with other people. I never really wanted to be around a lot of people everyday which is probably one of the reasons why I got tired. I’d just try this because maybe, just maybe, this is what I am meant to be doing.

Because I do not know anymore so I’d just try this.

 

I am ambitious. Yes. And I want to be successful and rich but I am taking it slow. I am choosy with my job options because I don’t want to just get anything. I also have my preferences. I also have interests I wanna try out. And here is where my heart desires to be .. for now. I’ve gotta be here or else . . I might completely lose myself.

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5 thoughts on “I do not know anymore.

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